When we understand why we do things that are self-defeating; we now have the information to recognize opportunities to make informed choices. Criticism of ourselves and others originates in our past story. It’s a self-defeating behavior that’s destructive and robs our psyche and “US” of appreciation and contentment. Criticism fuels anxiety, depression, and feelings of being “less than.” There are probably a lot of things we say to ourselves or others that are seemingly well-intentioned, but instead of being helpful they simply give Bitching Betty permission to speak or vent. How we talk sets the tone for our day and our mood. So let’s say that we want to work on being less critical of ourselves. In the spirit of wanting to change and retrain Betty, we wake up in the morning and say – “Today I will be less judgmental/critical of myself.” Is there anything wrong with this style of dialog? Yes! We’ve set ourselves up for failure because we can’t measure “less” of anything in terms of our behavior.